Thursday, November 15, 2012
GREAT. Let me just preface this by saying I'm drunk right now. And I'm sad. I've been sad for awhile. But I've been repressing that sadness because I tuck it away. I tuck it away into a place that it's safe until my current boyfriend says elbow the wrong way and then I can't help but let my feels explode everywhere.
Okay, so I said I date the same person all of the time. That person is *drum roll please* someone who doesn't like me! TA-DA! I know what you're thinking. You're probably like, why are you dating people that don't like you? You see, what had happened was... I don't know. There are like normal relationships where the people are so ridiculously happy that it makes everyone else sick even if you are in a fantastic relationship. That's generally considered the honeymoon phase. And boy oh boy, does this phase sweep me off my feet. I mean, I am ALWAYS seriously convinced that the dude I am with is going to be THEE guy. And then, the phase ends. And it's about six months into the relationship and for some ungodly reason, that's enough time to not break up... WUT. Yeah, six months apparently is a good amount of time to spend with someone to build a deep connection and then NOT break up with them when they start acting like an asshole. Or in my case, they start acting like they just don't like you. I guess asshole would've been fine but whatever.
And I'm not talking about falling out of love or something. I'm talking like these dudes act like I am some girl they just met and really want nothing to do with. The difference? WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR SIX MONTHS AND WE STILL GO HOME TOGETHER. And then six months turns into two years and before you know you're like ... WUT.
I know what you're thinking. You're like, what's wrong with you? Respect yourself! I know, riiiiiiiiight. I mean seriously, that's it. What the hell is wrong with you? This person sounds like a douche bag...
But he's not a douche bag!
How is he not a douche bag?
He, uh... well, when we're together, it's awesome!
Oh really? Like when we're together, he isn't mean, he doesn't hit, he would never insult me.
Girl, get real. He's already doing that. And when he's not, he's not because he's trying to get what he wants.
NO YOU'RE WRONG.
But you're not wrong. And I know you're not. So why do I keep dating people that after two years I come out and say "You just don't like me"? Who fucking knows. Only I know. And I'm keeping it such a secret that I can't even find it in my fucked up brain.
Did I forget to mention that I am drunk right now? Because I am. In case you missed that. I'm drunk. And tomorrow morning, I'm still going to be dating this guy. This guy that I think doesn't like me. I'll still keep dating him. Because even though I say I CAN BE MISERABLE BY MYSELF, I DON'T NEED HIM TO MAKE ME MISERABLE ... I mean, let's be real ... misery fucking LOOOOOOOOOOVES company. Even if the company doesn't like them too much, amirite?
HEY GUESS WHAT FUCK EVERYTHING
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Become an old maid?
There was no need to think of it. He was there and that’s all that mattered.
He never wondered what his life would have been like had he decided otherwise. He only wanted his life with her.
His love, his life, his family, his heart.
All with her.
Together, they had three boys. They bought a house, then sold it. They built a house and sold that. They bought another house and sold it. And finally they moved into the house they would grow old together in. The house his parents grew old together in.
He still lived for her. She grew older and couldn’t get around much. He never complained. They were a team! That’s what happens in life! Oh, and what a life it was, he would exclaim!
They grew older and older together until she got sick. He stayed by her side and he held her hand. He listened to her when she told him she was scared. He listened to her when she picked out her last outfit. And then he listened to her last breaths. She was gone.
All of his life was meant for her.
His love, his life, his heart.
All for her.
He lived his last days asking for her. Asking what she thought about all of this. Asking if she would be coming in to see him. Then he was gone. And now, for all we know, he is with her again.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I sit in my car and look down at the clock. Late for work again. Waiting for a light to turn green when you are already late for work seems like an eternity. As I try to think of a reason better than “It’s hard for me to leave the house sometimes”, a woman catches my eye. She is walking across the street, not really walking, more like shuffling. She has blonde hair, is about 5’3”, maybe 160 pounds. I recognize her. She comes into work almost everyday and asks to get on a computer.
The first day she came in, she handed me her passport, which caught me slightly off guard. Most people I knew that had passports were young, vibrant travelers ready to paint their name across the world. But as I looked at her picture, I saw that was what she was. Young, vibrant, a traveler. The picture looks like it was taken 30 years ago. You can see the life in her eyes.
The passport looked a bit tattered, probably expired but that doesn’t matter where I work. We just need some sort of identification saying you are who you are. I wonder where she has been with this. London? Brazil? Istanbul? What did she do there? Maybe she was a part of the peace corps helping areas in third world countries develop into communities. Or maybe she was a nurse in the army and helped wounded soldiers heal. Or maybe she was just a traveler. She backpacked through the Eastern Alps studying the lithology of rock units.
I must have been wondering for too long, because she took me out of my train of thought and mumbled something. “I’m sorry, what?” I asked. “Salvation Army.” I nodded. People who stay at the Salvation Army don’t have to pay to get on the computers. I gave her a pass and directed her toward the computer. She shuffled over and sat down.
As I watched her, I thought about how she was almost unrecognizable to the person in the passport picture. The young woman in the picture looked like she had goals. She looked like she had a plan. Where did she go wrong? This woman was practically homeless. This woman who, at some point in her life, wanted to paint her name across the world.
A car beeps their horn behind me. It practically sends me through the roof of my car. I have a green arrow. I guess I’ll just right down that I slept in. How do you write down on a small piece of paper that you weren’t doing anything important that made you late. You ate breakfast really slow, laid down with your cats for awhile, watched a rerun of “Frasier” and then realized that you should have left five minutes ago? I guess I’ll just say I slept in.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
If I worked for The Onion, this is the type of story I would submit:
STATE FARM INSURANCE DECIDES TO REEVALUATE LONG STANDING SLOGAN AFTER REALIZING GOOD NEIGHBORS MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS.
We all know that slogan. It’s been pounded into our brains just like everything else out there. “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.” Go ahead, try and read it without singing that tune. This has been a part of the famous insurance company since ... I don’t know, but it’s been a long time. Probably since the 60’s or something, because that’s probably still when everyone was being nice to each other. You old-timers remember, whenever you needed any help, you could just walk across the yard and ask good ol’ Tom to come over. Then you would share a cold beer with him. And later he’d invite you to a key party or something. Ah yes, those were the days. Things are totally different now.
Don’t act like you actually answer the door whenever your family comes around, let alone your neighbor. If you need a cup of sugar, and there is none in your cabinets, you drive to the grocery store and get some. In these hard economic times, we can’t be carelessly borrowing things from each other. You don’t go knocking on your neighbors door with a measuring cup in your hand asking, “Can I borrow some sugar?” What if they only have a few cups left themselves? You have just put them in an awkward position. If they don’t give you a cup, they’re an asshole. Am I right? So, they give you a cup. Now your neighbor can’t make his or her sons birthday cake for tomorrow. Way to go, jackass.
All this isolation finally came to the attention of the State Farm Insurance PR team. They realized that their once valid slogan had completely lost it’s meaning. Instead of, “If you’re injured in a car accident, we’ll be there to help just like a friendly neighbor would”, State Farm customers were hearing this, “If you’re injured in a car accident, we’ll turn off the lights and sit quietly in the dark until you leave, like a neighbor would”.
The PR team decided on a few different slogans. The first, “We’re better than your neighbors, because we won’t pretend we don’t know you in the mall”. Focus group’s found this to be too condescending. The next, which didn’t follow the original jingle, “State Farm. When we meet it’s all business. We definitely won’t drag you into a long boring conversation about our children being on the honor roll. We know you don’t care”. But the focus group’s thought, although honest, it wasn’t as catchy.
The PR team was just about to give up, when a gentlemen from a neighboring office suggested they go with, “State Farm. We’re there if you need us”. It took him a long time to get the team’s attention though, since he was from a neighboring office and all.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
I'm stuck at school with nothing to do. For the most part my homework is done. I have commented on everyone's facebook status's and checked out the LOLcatz for today. I can't help but look around the lunch room and imagine what all these people are doing.